I walked into the next room in the hopes of finding something with a little less running about.

It was a giant maze of stone. Irony, you son of a bitch.

I sighed, and my eyes began darting over the maze from our elevated position, tracing the paths while I waited for my friends to catch up. By the time they were standing by my side, I’d figured out the basics of where we should go, how we should get to the end.

Then the walls started moving.

“And now I hate this dungeon.”

My carefully traced path was now obliterated, and the maze would likely continue to change as we moved through it. I resigned myself to a long, long, long walk, and started that walk by moving to the entrance.

Malk asked, “Okay, how are we handling this? It’s a big maze, should we split up, stick together, hug the left wall, hug the right wall, what?”

Clary said, “Right wall is always the best option. And we should probably stick together, there’s no point in one person finding the exit if they can’t find the rest of the group.”

I nodded at the two of them, and stepped into the maze, which activated the spike trap. Three stone spikes came rushing out of the floor, and I barely managed to backflip out of the way. As I landed beside my friends, the spikes receded back into the floor, which still looked perfectly innocent. “Okay, now I really, really hate this dungeon.”

I gathered the darkness about me and stepped into the maze once more. This time, when the spikes rose, I send the darkness cascading onto the spikes, shattering them.

“That’s that problem solved. Now, let’s hurry and get through this stupid labyrinth of annoyance.” I took a short moment to check if I could sense any traps, but found nothing. We all walked into the maze, and down the path. Taking the advice of Clary, I led us along the right wall, taking turns here and there where the maze had offshoots of the path.

And then the walls shifted again. As Wabbit and I walked forward, the wall behind us suddenly slammed out, blocking Clary and Malk’s path and separating us into two groups. I snarled, and called over to them, “Well this is terrific, this is just great. I hate this stupid dungeon. Look, try and follow the path as best you can along the same logic, we should eventually reach the same place. We’ll do the-“

My speech was cut off as a cylinder of stone suddenly emerged from the wall to my left and slammed into me, crushing me against the right wall. This angered me. Greatly. As the cylinder receded, I fell to my knees, gasping for breath. My ribs were broken again, and I expended a burst of energy healing them. Then I got to my feet, gathered my power, and punched the wall, shattering it.

I laughed, and then screamed, “Is that the best you have, huh maze? Some shifting walls, a surprise cylinder attack, and the inability to stop a punch?”

In response, another cylinder emerged, from the wall behind me. It sent my flying into another wall, which did the same trick, sending me back toward the first cylinder. Wabbit jumped into the air to try and slash them, but my response was to blow the first cylinder to pieces with magic. The maze tried to attack me again, this time with spikes from the floor, and I countered by stomping down with my foot and releasing a wave of energy that obliterated the spikes.

Next came another cylinder. I magic-punched it and it broke into pieces.

I felt a rumbling beneath me, and did a backflip into the air, just as a giant worm seemingly made of earth rose up from the ground and roared. I roared back at it, and sent a volley of darkness at different spots on its body, enraging it further. The worm surged toward me, its jaw open wide and filled with rocky teeth. I danced to the left, and send a spike of darkness into its segmented body, tearing a massive hole. The worm flopped around to face me again, and surged forward. This time, I met it head on, and gathered darkness in front of me in a sloped aegis with a spike in the center.

The worm surged at me, hit the aegis, kept going, and I emerged on the other side of the beast, having torn a gash through its entire body. I laughed the laugh of someone who is possibly mad, and darkness danced around me, wild and uncontrolled. I rolled my shoulders and looked around at the carnage I’d caused, which was quickly being reabsorbed into the maze. “Well? What now, oh mighty and powerful labyrinth of deadly traps and horrid monsters?”

The labyrinth walls shifted again, this time making a straight path toward the other side of the maze. I smirked, and began striding forward. Wabbit hopped onto my shoulder to better keep up. This dungeon seems too complex. Who made it?

I shrugged. “Not really sure. Hmm. Dungeons usually get made during wartime, by elementals trying to protect artifacts from the invaders. Then they forget, or the dungeon gets taken over by the attackers, or by monsters. Then they get rediscovered, which is how Clary found out about it, from some old journal or whatever. But you’ve got a good point with the complexity… there’s too many elements here, they’ve got wisps and vast monsters and intricate magical traps that are able to stop even me… this took a massive concerted effort. Whatever’s at the end of this dungeon has to be very, very powerful.”

Yeah… hey, there’s more rumbling…

As Wabbit wrote that, a new wall rose up through the ground, blocking the way. This one was covered in a circular pattern of runes, with a smooth crystal circle in the center. I sighed. “Will this maze ever learn when to give up?” I pointed my hand at the barricade and unleashed a blast of energy at it. Unfortunately, it had defenses. The energy got absorbed into the crystal, which quickly turned purple. “Great. Just great.”

As I prepared to launch another attack, a black handprint appeared on the crystal. I think it wants you to press the handprint.

“Meh. I’d rather blow it up… but it looks like I don’t have much of a choice.” I sighed, and put my hand against-

-the back of the nearest tree. I casually picked a piece of meat out of my teeth and flicked it to the ground. Ah, hunting. I’ll never understand why the others don’t do this more often.

A snarl interrupted my train of thought and I laughed as I flipped over a big furry thing with a mane and dark eyes. Of course, my laughter was dulled a bit when it turned on its paws and swiped at me. I bled darkness, and narrowed my eyes. Right, got to be serious sometimes. I should ask Malk what this thing is when I get back. I think it’s like, a lion or something? Eh, it probably dies the same as anything else here.

I threw a few bolts of darkness at it, and my eyes widened when the creature simply shrugged them off. It jumped at me, and I rolled to the side. Shit. Well, I got out of the Academy of War a few months ago, time to see if the training paid off. I pulled out my sword, and then the creature slammed into me again. The sword went flying, and I got shoved up against a tree. It mauled my chest, ruining my shirt, and I enhanced my strength to push it to the side, falling to the ground gasping and quickly running to reach my sword.

The lion roared, and I barely managed to grab my sword, turning on my heel and pointing the sword at the oncoming monster. Moving too fast, its shoulder was run through, but it bit my arm, clenching it between its iron-grip jaws. I screamed in fury, and took my sword out. Before the lion could move away, I stabbed it downward through the thing’s skull. It gave one last yelp, and fell dead.

I took a few breaths to steady myself, then vindictively ripped off a piece of the creature and bit into it. I took the energy, and used it to heal my various wounds. Well, that thing was tough. And yet…

I grinned, and took another bite, and another, letting the weird red blood of the creature flow down my face and chest, which was now barely covered by the ruins of my shirt. I let loose a savage cheer, and ran through the woods, not really caring where I was going. My hair, the blood, the rags of my clothing, all of it flew in the wind as I raced past trees that began to blur. I took a single step and dodged an oncoming tree, aided by senses more than natural.

I stopped only when I entered a clearing nestled up against a rocky hill. On second glance, I saw a cave entrance. Well that seems like it could be interesting.

The roar of a bear issued from the cave, and I smirked. Well, now I just have to investigate. I walked into the cave, and didn’t notice any bones or other leftovers in the first chamber that might indicate the residence of a bear.

Seeing that it was dark further in, I quickly put together a torch from rags and wood, and lit it. Secure in my light, I investigated further into the cave, and soon found the source of the noise; a bear was mauling apart the warren of rabbits that had made this cave their home. I dismissed the rabbits as unimportant, and focused on the bear.

I gathered the shadows and readied my sword. The bear noticed me and reared up on its hind legs, an action usually designed to scare things away. I simply smiled and sent a bolt of darkness in the general direction of its heart. The bear’s next roar had considerably more fear, and it came down on all fours, charging me with its jaw gaping open. I jumped over the bear as it came forward, landing behind it and twirling to send more bolts of darkness, wounding the creature further. It turned around, charged, and I ran it through with my sword. I shoved it to the side and relaxed against a wall.

I love fighting. I really do. I turned to the dead rabbits, poking the bloody mess with my sword. There were lots of them dead, mauled to pieces. The one it had been attacking last was mostly intact, with only a few marks. Of course, it was just as dead as the rest. I debated eating or skinning it. On the one hand, food. On the other hand, pointless trophy to squick out Malk and Clary.

I decided to take a catalogue of the rabbits. I identified the intact one as the mother, a torn apart one as the father, and the big pile seemed like cousins and siblings. As I looked I saw a twitch from the pile of siblings. Tilting my head with curiosity I walked over and began moving aside the corpses.

At the bottom of the pile I saw a rabbit still alive. It was small, one of the youngest of the litter. “You clever little cutie. You burrowed under the broken corpses of your kin to survive the bear. If you were more like an elemental, I bet that would leave emotional scarring. Luckily you’re just a rabbit.”

I picked him up and brought him close to my face. A spark of inspiration fueled a few seconds of rapid thought, and then I grinned. I breathed out heavily, and the rabbit opened its tiny mouth, breathing in what I’d exhaled.

“Just a rabbit… for now,” I said as his eyes briefly flashed bright purple. I rose to my feet and-

-stumbled back away from the wall, and it quickly fell back into the ground, leaving the way open. Wabbit rushed to my side and looked worried. Mum, are you okay?

“Um… sort of. Yeah, I’m fine.”

What happened? You just stood there for a few seconds, and then you fell back.

“It made me relive some memories. I don’t know why. This fucking dungeon is really starting to piss me off!” I fumed, stamping the ground. Wabbit watched with concern, and nuzzled my shoulder. I patted his head, and sighed.

We continued our journey through the linear path the maze had turned into, and up ahead I saw another door. Snarling but resigned to my fate I hurried to reach it and pressed my hand against the crystal.

Nothing happened.

I frowned, and then thought back to the first one. I’d only touched the crystal once it was already purple, and it became purple after I blasted it. Shrugging, I sent energy at the wall, and the crystal changed to look like the other one. Sighing, I placed my hand on the crystal and-

-stepped into the cave. I admired the changes I’d made. You know, you really can do a lot in two months. The cave was now well-lit, there was some plush furniture, and I’d even left a few books.

I called out, “Wabbit!” and watched him come running. I smiled as he nestled by my foot, and I walked over to a bean bag, plopping down on it so he could rest by my head. I pulled out a packaged container of blood and vegetable soup, and opened it up, setting it on my lap for convenient feeding.

He eagerly began feasting. “At some point I should get you into hunting, so you can get your own food. Start small with squirrels, eventually transition to things like bears and dark lions.” He looked up at me and twitched his ears before returning to his meal.

He’s probably smart enough to understand me, but unfortunately rabbits don’t really possess proper vocal capabilities, nor can they write with their stubby little paws. Good thing I’ve been working on this.

A few days ago I’d managed to create a new trick, where I created words with shadows. It had been mostly a joke to play on Clary, changing her shadow every few minutes to spell a different word like ‘cute’, ‘geek’, or ‘hopeless’. If Wabbit could cast like I could, he’d be able to communicate through the shadows.

And that of course was the key phrase. If he could ‘cast like I could’. Whatever I’d done when I found him, it had changed him subtly, but it wasn’t enough. It felt like he had been primed to be a receptacle for something, but he still needed to be filled. And after a bit of research and experimentation, I’d discovered a potential way to do that.

I took a deep breath, and started explaining to Wabbit. “Hey, little guy. So, I’ve been working on a spell. It… it isn’t normal, I doubt it has ever been done before, but I think it should work. It will take a portion of me, a portion of my intellect, my magic, my strength, my speed, and my personality, and give it a recipient. In this case, you. The portion should regenerate naturally… I hope.”

His ears twitched again, and I gave a nervous laugh. “I hope you can actually understand me. Right, well, here goes nothing.”

With a single expenditure of effort I breathed out like before, but this time with more will, more focus. Wabbit breathed it in, and I felt a sense of loss, as if a part of me had just been taken. No, given. Wabbit’s eyes widened, and then they narrowed in concentration.

A moment later, his shadow flickered, and then changed.

Mum.

I let out a shout of-

-frustration as I fell back away from the wall and it slammed into the floor.

I scowled. “Again, I don’t see the point here.”

What was the memory of? Was it the same as the first one?

“They were both of scenes with you. Finding you in the first, feeding you in the second. Maybe this thing works on proximity, makes me relive memories to do with whoever is nearest. I just don’t understand why. Is it meant to slow me down? Is it trying to force me to come to terms with the decisions I’ve made in the past in an attempt to reform me as a person, for better or for worse? Is it just fucking with me because this dungeon was designed by pricks? How can it even do this anyways? Answers to all these questions next time on the Douchebag Memory Reliving Show!”

We continued the dull drudgery of movement until reaching another wall. Sighing, I sent some energy at it, and reached my hand out to touch the-

-head of Wabbit, scratching his ears. “You’re looking healthy today. Want to try a few routines before I introduce you to my minions?”

Sure, mum!

Wabbit hopped his way out of the cave, and began shaping his shadow, gathering energy and then unleashing it. He did a series of blasts, cuts, and defensive maneuvers before enhancing his claws and manually destroying a tree. Well, looks like the infusions have been working quite nicely.

“Looks good. Head back inside while I go fetch them.”

He obeyed, and I went to fetch Malk and Clary. They were at home, so I gave a quick wave and gestured for them to follow me. Before they could say anything I walked out of the city, and they hastened to catch up. Soon, we reached the clearing, and I stopped to let them reach me. “Hey, friends. I’ve got something to show you.”

“What is it? And why are we in the middle of the forest?” asked a curious Clary.

“Shush. Just watch.” I turned to the cave, and began to chant. “Oh great and magnificent creature of darkness, I call to thee! This humble being requests your presence, for you are indeed greatness made manifest!” Malk and Clary looked at each other in confusion, then took a few steps back when they saw the darkness gathering at the cave mouth. “Rise, rise my dark child, and show these two the greatness found only in you and in I!”

The darkness surged forward and tendrils lashed out, slicing apart several trees. As Malk and Clary grabbed each other for support, the darkness suddenly cleared, revealing Wabbit. His shadow reshaped itself, forming words. They look silly like that, mum.

Clary and Malk both stared, their mouths wide open. Clary said, “It’s a rabbit. A rabbit that can cast. How… how is that possible?”

“It called her mother, it… it called Shadow its mother. What did you do?” Malk asked in horror.

Wabbit twitched, and a few dark tendrils crept up to Malk. Be careful, lest you anger me, swine. I haven’t hunted in a few days.

“It… it hunts. It hunts and it threatens people and what did you do Shadow, what did you do?” asked a terrified Malk.

“Relax, Wabbit. That’s his name, by the way. Wabbit. Wabbit, meet Malk the boring artsy stoic dude, and Clary the cute geeky nervous girl. Boring dude and geeky girl, meet Wabbit. He’s my adopted son, a rabbit infused with a bit of power and a bit of my essence. He’s fun.”

Malk nodded after a moment, his face returning to its passive expression. Clary continued to stare at Wabbit. “He’s… interesting.”

“Yes he is…” I laughed, and continued, “I can’t wait to show him to Fitzdonald.”

Clary smiled at that, and said-

-“Shadow! Wabbit!”

I stumbled forwards, catching myself, and saw Clary running towards me. “Minions! Are both of you here?” Looking around I saw that we were now at the edge of the maze.

Malk responded to my question with, “I’m here, and Clary’s here, though I haven’t seen any minions. Perhaps you meant to say, ‘willing assistants, allies, and valued friends’? Unless you brought a secret group of cultists or something without us noticing.”

“Hmm. It seems we are at an impasse. Perhaps we should compromise with something like ‘friendly servants’.” Malk came into view from around a corner, walking calmly. Clary caught up to me and waited for Malk.

“I’d actually prefer ‘friends who occasionally serve’ if it’s really that important to degrade us.”

“But that doesn’t have anywhere near enough degradation. It’s like saying ‘enemies who occasionally damage you’. It’s a thing that while rare is still perfectly natural. Enemies damage, friends serve.”

“Then I guess we’ll just have to agree to disagree.” He said calmly, shrugging as he reached us.

“Hmm, yes. Or I could just bend your mind to my will to make you obey me completely and call yourself a minion. But perhaps I should save such an action for a more important occasion.”

Malk laughed. “Right, of course.”

It’s so funny whenever they think I’m joking.

We emerged into a big area, and started looking for a door. Then the ground began to shake again, and I laughed. I turned back towards the maze and called out, “What, you’ve got one last hurrah? One last attempt to beat me? That’s unexpected considering how I tore apart all your little attacks, and you had to resort to cheap memory tricks that didn’t actually stop me! I mean really, what kind of maze-“

I stopped when the maze vanished. And by vanished, I mean the entire thing sank into the ground, leaving a level field of stone all the way back to the entrance. At that point, the rumbling stopped, and instead I heard the sound of stone breaking.

I turned back around just in time to see a massive stone giant emerge from the ground. “Schist!” I said. Yes, I am in fact not above making bad puns. The stone giant roared, which should be impossible because you need vocal chords to roar, but maybe it was the sound of stone grinding against stone, and I really needed to stop thinking scientifically when fighting rock monsters.

The giant charged at us, and at me in particular, its fist coming down to smash me into dust. I quickly raised a solid shield of magical energy, and imbued it with an enchantment that would damage anything that came in contact with it.

The fist hit the shield, and the giant roared in pain, before hammering at the shield again and again, attempting to break it through. I waited until the shield was about to break before hitting him from behind with a blast of magic, at the same time that Malk and Wabbit slashed at his legs.

I had left the shield the moment I raised it, of course, leaving it there to strain the giant. It realized its mistake, and barreled toward me once more, to meet another blast of magic head on.

The giant reeled from the blast, but as it did so I noticed with dismay that for all of the harm I had inflicted on it, it suffered no wounds, had not reduced in size, and still came at me with the same speed as before.

Clearly, this fight would take a little extra effort. So instead of sending more brute force at the giant, I began to think on how to defeat it. Slashes and blasts hadn’t worked, so what would?

I decided to take a look at the magic of the creature, see what it was vulnerable to. I opened my senses and peered at it, revealing that it was in fact a magical construct, one designed to be very difficult to defeat, having the strength and durability of stone and earth.

Of course, it was a magical construct, which opened up an easy way to disable it. I simply reached out with my magic, found the spells that wove it together, and attacked them.

In a few seconds the giant went from a rampaging goliath to a heap of rocks. So why was that thing less powerful than the random wards?

The others looked at me, impressed, and I gave a brief bow before walking over to the exit door. “Shall we?” I asked.