Rachel: heyyyy a friend invited me over to play magic
Rachel: but!
Rachel: im not far i can be back super quick
Sophia: Ah, don’t worry about it. I’m sure you weren’t expecting me back home at any reasonable time, so please don’t rush around on my behalf.
Rachel: ah, but consider: i could go home and say hi to you
Sophia: Seriously, Rachel, if you’re out with a friend then you don’t need to leave them for my sake. That wouldn’t be fair to either of you.
Rachel: they wont mind! promise!
Rachel: i can be back in five minutes tops
Sophia: It’s fine. I could use the extra sleep anyway. You know how ragged I run. But, we’ll hang out tomorrow. I’ll cook breakfast.
Sophia: Night.
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!
I want to scream and throw my phone against the wall and set my hair on fire. I want to swim to the bottom of the Mariana Trench and become food for shrimp. If I got up on stage in front of the entire population of Earth and told them all my most embarrassing secrets I still wouldn’t feel as bad as I do right now.
Sophia came home early and I wasn’t there. I wasn’t there for her. I could have been with Sophia and instead I’m playing a dumb card game with people I barely know and Sophia is alone at home without me. This is the worst case scenario. Forget the lesbians in the Ossuary, this is my new 9/11.
I stand up abruptly in the middle of Erica’s turn. “Hey, so, thanks for the food and games, but I should really go.”
Erica stops fiddling with her combo and raises an eyebrow at me. “Work stuff?”
That would be a good excuse, but she could verify it too easily. Should I bluff anyway and deal with the consequences later? No, I’ve already waited too long. “Personal stuff,” I say curtly, and then I scoop up my cards and fit them in their deck box.
“Well, thanks for coming over!” Eli says.
Dave says, “Yeah, it was a fun game, I’m happy to play another round any time.”
“For sure,” I say quickly. “You have a lovely home and it was an amazing dinner. Thank you again, and sorry for the rushed ending! See you some other time!”
I scurry for the door and throw on my jacket and scarf. Erica, to my displeasure, catches up to me and lays a hand on the doorknob. The other witch gives me a searching look. “This is about that girl, isn’t it?” she says in a low, wry voice.
I glare at her. “Of course it is, so get out of my way.”
“What did she say?” Erica asks. “Did she call you home like a dog?” She’s grinning at me, mocking me, practically sneering. “Or is that all you? You’d run after her no matter what she said, right?”
My face reddens. Shut up, shut up, shut up! “It’s none of your business.” I make my voice as cold as possible, but I can’t stop my fist from clenching.
Erica laughs. “You’re about to leave a nice evening with friends and food to go running off after a girl that doesn’t even want you. I bet she told you to stay, didn’t she? I bet she’d rather you spend the night with someone who isn’t her.”
Doesn’t even want you. Told you to stay. Someone who isn’t her. That isn’t true. My Sophia has to want me. She’s just tired, but once I go to her she’ll be happy to see me. She likes me. We’re going to be together. I won’t accept another world. “Hey, Erica,” I say lightly, banishing my mounting anger to a pulsating node in the back of my mind. “I think we should continue this conversation outside, so why don’t you take your hand off the door?”
“Yeah? Think you can run away that easily?” She leaves her hand where it is.
I smile. “Well, I wouldn’t want to make your nice friends have to clean your blood out of their pretty walls and carpet.”
She gives me an appraising look. I summon a knife, let it hang in my hand, and meet her gaze with iron, unflinching will.
Try me. Give me a reason. Let me put you in your place.
She lets go of the doorknob. “Damn, girl. Guess Howl was right about you. Go on then, chase after your hero. See where it gets you.” She walks away with a whistle, but I stopped paying attention halfway through her little speech.
I’m out the door in a flash and transform a second later, sparing only a moment’s glance to make sure no one is watching. I fly through the rain at top speed, droplets sizzling off my Prometheus-granted body heat. The suburbs are far from our apartment, but it’s not a distance that means anything to magical flight. I’m home in minutes, just like I promised.
I check my surroundings even more carefully when I transform back, mindful of how I discovered Striga’s secret identity. I stand outside in the rain for another minute before entering the complex, letting the water soak in so I won’t look suspiciously dry for the weather.
Sophia, Sophia, Sophia. My heart pounds. It’s Christmas Eve. A holiday. Could this be the night that I tell Sophia how I feel? When I step inside our apartment, will she look up with sudden warmth, happily surprised to see me home? Will I catch a glimpse of that radiant, precious smile?
I don’t. The apartment is dark and cool as I enter. With a sinking feeling, I move to Sophia’s door and press my ear against it. No sounds of movement. No light from beneath.
I think about knocking, but if she’s already asleep then it would be rude to wake her. Quietly, carefully, I open the door.
Sophia is sleeping, passed out on her bed with the covers clumsily draped across her. Her breathing is steady, an even rise and fall of her chest. Her angelic face is relaxed, mouth hanging slightly open, eyelids not yet fluttering with dreams.
The poor thing. She must have been exhausted.
I stand in the doorway, watching her, for minutes. Five, maybe ten. I don’t keep count. I just stare at her perfect face, drinking in the sight of her. My darling. My hero. My Sophia.
I’m woken up by the aroma of fresh breakfast. Groggy, curled up on the couch, I fumble for my phone to check the time.
“Morning, sunshine!” Sophia calls over cheerfully. “Merry Christmas.”
I bolt upright. It’s Christmas Day. It’s a holiday. “You’re making breakfast?” I ask.
“You’ve done it for me a few times lately, so I thought I’d return the favor. It’s nice to eat together and not be rushing off anywhere, isn’t it?”
“Yeah.” I watch her stir a pan of what smells like sausage. “Sorry again about last night.”
Sophia laughs. “You don’t need to apologize, Rachel. I’m the one who… it’s fine, really. Alright, order up!”
Maple sausage links, cantaloupe chunks, and eggs sunny side up, washed down with a glass of orange juice. A delicious breakfast, made all the better because my beloved made it for me. I savor every bite.
We make meaningless small talk. I learn details about her vet work, most of which is probably true, and in exchange I share funny conversations with friends. There’s a hole in our dialogue shaped like witches and magical girls.
“Hey, do you want to go for a walk?” she asks me once breakfast is devoured and the dishes are put away. “I know it’s not snowing, but it’ll be nice to get out while there’s no one else around. You like liminal spaces, right?”
My heart beats faster. “Sure! Gray skies are almost as good as snow anyway.”
We walk the streets of Forks beneath endless clouds, the city still damp after a night of hard rain. Sophia is adorable as always in a soft green sweater and a tree-patterned beanie. Her breath mists slightly in the cool morning air, and I find myself wishing I could bottle it to keep a private reserve.
“I like spending time with you,” I say. “I wish I got to do it more often. That’s why I felt so bad about missing you last night.”
Sophia winces. “That’s my fault. I… I know I’m always too busy, but it feels normal to me. For the longest time, you were always there, waiting for me at home, and I… I guess I started taking that for granted. Taking you for granted. And I’m so, so sorry for that.”
“It’s fine!” I say quickly. I mean, it’s not really fine. It hurts so, so much, and I’ve been hurting for so long. But Sophia can hurt me as much as she likes. I’ll always let her. “I don’t mind being your rock. I mean, hey, it’s not like the past however many years would make you expect anything else from me. I’ve been the rock sitting on your couch.”
Sophia smiles warmly. “And I liked that. It was nice always having you around. But, I’m really happy that you’ve been making more friends and finding other things to do with your time. You’ve felt more alive, Rachel. And that’s been wonderful. I like seeing that. I just… also like seeing you.”
Oh my god oh my god oh my god I’m so gay I want to kiss you so badly aaaaa!!! “I like seeing you, too,” I say lamely instead of screaming about my desperate need to push Sophia against a tree and bury myself in her mouth. “I wish I could see you more often.” Because I love you and I need you and you’re the only thing that completes me.
Sophia grins. “Well, now you can!” I blink. “I’m making a commitment: one night a week, every week, I’m going to make time for you, and if work or anyone else tries to call me then they’re going to find my phone turned off. No interruptions. No emergencies. Only us.”
Date night. Date night every week. Date night with Sophia every week. Only us. Only us. Only us. “Can you get away with that?” I ask, projecting concern to hide the explosions happening in my brain.
“Of course I can,” she says smugly. “I’m me.” Then she sighs, the exhaustion seeping back in. “I know I do too much. I am buried in responsibility, but you know what? I do enough. If anyone begrudges me taking one night off—not even a full day—each week, then they can burn in hell. One night a week, only us.”
I smile. “That sounds perfect. Thank you.” Date night. Only us. Date night. Only us.
If anyone tries to stand between us—tries to take Sophia away from me—then they can burn in hell. They can all burn, and I would happily burn them. I would break the world to take it from your shoulders.
This is the time. This is my moment. So why can’t I summon the words?
I need to tell Sophia that I love her. I need to tell her that I’m Archon. I need to share everything with her so that we can be together. But the words are sticking in my throat. Fear is rising like bile.
What if she rejects me? What if she doesn’t want to be with me? What if I ruin a good thing right as it gets better? What if those date nights never happen because I scare her off?
No, no, no! I conquered this! I swallowed my fears against the deimovore, so why are they coming back now? I thought I was over this! But here and now, in the moment, staring at Sophia’s beautiful, smiling face as we walk the empty streets together, I can’t find my voice.
I love you.
I’ve always loved you.
I need you.
I’ve always needed you.
Please love me back.
I force my mouth to move. “So. On that topic.”
Sophia glances over at me, then down at her phone, which she’d pulled out while I was ruminating. Her expression shifts into a scowl. “Shit. Now, really?” She starts rapidly typing, and my heart sinks. Not again. Not now. “Ugh. Rachel, do you—”
“It’s fine,” I say quietly. “If you have to go, I understand.”
I can almost taste the pain in her eyes, bright and bitter like grapes gone rotten. “Hey. I meant what I said. I’m going to get things set up with the people I need to tell, and then those nights are ours. First Friday of the new year, how about that? You can pick what we do. Maybe we can go see a movie. It’ll happen. I promise.”
“Okay.” I force a smile. “I’m looking forward to it. Let’s go to an aquarium.” A romance can’t call itself yuri until the girls have been to an aquarium together. That’s a rule.
A bit of joy returns to her expression. “I’d love that. Okay, gotta run!”
And then she’s gone, hurrying away to do who cares what. Leaving me alone.
I should have said it. I should have told her.
But, as much as I hate to admit it, a part of me is relieved that I didn’t. The fear ebbs out. I haven’t ruined everything. And now, or in a little over a week, I get to go on a date with Sophia.
Maybe this is better. Maybe this way, I can work up to my confession more naturally. I mean, god, imagine just dumping a love confession on someone out of nowhere. Even if she likes me back, that would probably be all kinds of disorienting. Better to do it… more naturally.
I can flirt on our dates, feel out her boundaries, try to gently build up to it. And I get to spend more time with Sophia. This wasn’t a failure. It wasn’t a failure. It was… a stepping stone. A waystation on my journey to stealing Sophia’s heart.
Of course, that still leaves me alone on Christmas. I sigh and start walking home. I guess there’s always more work I could be doing.
[commentary]
I know a few people have been frustrated with the wait on Rachel’s confession. Explaining characterization isn’t really going to do anything about that, but I do hope the promise of actual dates will do something. They might not call each other girlfriends, but like… these are dates. They’re dating.
A special thank you to my Grandmaster-tier patrons, whose support has kept food on my table: Adrian CC, Ashlyn, CaosSorge, Crows Danger, Demi, Lirian, M, Mgbm, Mhai Wind, Morrigan, October, Paige Harvey, PR4v1 Samaratunga, and Selacanis. Wow that’s a lot of you! Thank you so much!
If you like this story and want to see more of it, please go to the RR page and leave a rating or review! Web serials live and die on audience support, and this one is no exception. The better the story does on RR, the more people click through and read, the more motivation I have (both on a mental health level and on an “able to pay rent” level) to keep writing and to write faster.
The next scheduled break week starts on the 7th of December. It’ll be another double length break as I work on my second writing project and some outline rewrites for TMGM.
[/commentary]